I-am-a-real-gae

What will you do if the future of both of you lies in two letters? Two letters set to be different from each other that can either make or break your heart? There’s no room for picking the wrong letter because of the “touch move” rule. Are you ready to read the one you’ve picked?

Scared. Anxious. Felt like crying.

I’ll narrate this story more personal. It was 3rd Sunday of the Month. Although I slept at almost 12 midnight last night with teary narrowed eyes and with fear in my heart, I was able to wake up early to do my Sunday old routine – lot of meetings to attend.

10:30am to 6:30pm. My body was present on the three meetings I have attended but my mind’s floating. It couldn’t focus. The only thing that my brain could process at that moment was how this Sunday going to end. Will I be happy as ever or worst as I don’t want to be?

The question can be answered at 7pm, till we meet. And at last, we met. I wore my fake smile as I step closer to him just to hide the uneasy feeling we both sensed. He held my hands halfheartedly without using any force – as if he’s ready to let it go any moment.

We decided to eat at a restaurant for dinner. We walked hand in hand silently – we never talked. I was the one who’s trying hard to make a conversation. I asked him “May problema ba tayo?” and he said coldly “Wala naman”. I asked him again “Bakit di ka na nagsasabi ng I Love You?”. He said (not looking at me) “Pagdating na lang natin sa kainan, doon ko na lang sasabihin”.

My fake smile didn’t stand those words he said and I couldn’t hide the true feelings I kept to burst – miserable. Though I knew already how would that day end – a doomsday for me, I was able to have left small hopes that, that day was only a nightmare and somebody will wake me up from that bad dream.

Finally, we reached our destination. We ordered foods and sat face to face at the table. I had no idea what was going on his mind as I stared blankly at him. He got a coin from his pocket and spun it at the table. It didn’t make any sense to me until he put it back to his pocket and got two envelopes from his back the one is addressed “to Christeen” and the other is “to Yhabz.” It’s the same person. It’s me.

I thought that was the end. I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted to cry. I quickly grabbed the letter from his hand and hid it at my back. I’m actually hyperventilating while saying “Ano to? Para saan to? Ayokong mamili!” He didn’t buy that drama. He commanded me seriously to give back the letters to him. I surrendered. I thought that right there and then “I’m losing the fight.”

He placed the two letters side by side, asked me to pick only one. I didn’t want to pick. I stood firm not to pick any letter from the two. I was so afraid that I might pick the letter that would bring us apart. I did not want to deal. My teary eyes didn’t melt his heart; he’s not changing his mind and forced me to pick one.

Before picking one, I made some analyses to have the right letter. I didn’t pick the letter addressed to Yhabz because I thought that it would be the last time he will call me that way. I threw my hands to the letter addressed to Christeen. Nervously, I opened the envelope and closed my eyes. It took me two to three minutes to finally read what’s written. The letter addressed to Christeen says “Kunin mo Yung Yhabz!” and then I burst into laughter!

LOL with tears of joy. I didn’t thought of that prank. I almost cried. I almost died. But after I read that big trick, I became alive. The small hopes I have become huge. I looked at him that night with so much love. But the joke did not end just yet. There’s one more letter I need to read from him “to Yhabz”. He pushed me to open the 2nd letter - emotionless. I was still nervous but not as tensed when I opened the 1st letter. I have high hopes that the letter is positive but I still had a doubt. I stopped laughing.

I grasped the letter and slowly opened the envelope. I looked at him. He was somber. Slowly I read the letter quietly that says: “Yhabz, Ikaw naman, biro lang.. => Mahal na mahal kita noh!! Hehe. I <3   U… Ikaw ang babae na kasama kong tatanda. Kasama ang mga anak natin.”

My initial reaction? I really wanted to screeeaaam! But I only laughed. Cried. I was crying and laughing at the same time. His acting for best actor ended. He threw me a big smile and started to laugh with me while holding my hands. I wasn’t able to punch him on his face or kick his ass because I’m not furious after what he did. I should feel angry but I was not. What I wanted the most to do that time was to hug him tight. I would really love that scene.

I asked him why he did such a joke. I felt like a victim on scared tactics. He explained that he just felt that he needed to press the F5 (refresh) button (applying his course in the concept of love) in our relationship. And we felt that night that we had jumped to the next stage of our lives together. For five years of being together as he counts it (while my count is we are on our 3rd year only - mutual understanding included), the love we had found is a love that will surely last a lifetime.

That Sunday night turned out to be the greatest night. We enjoyed the food. That night, he didn’t stop saying the words that made me giggle: I LOVE YOU. I will cherish this day and promise to cherish every moment I’m with him. As what I said to him, there’s no right word to explain how thankful I am for having someone like him to grow old with. :) 

-Christeen Gae Padilla <3 Raphael Nichole Ramos

Sabi ko sa sarili ko nung pumasok ako sa office, hindi na ko magkakape dahil..  iba na ang effect ng kape sa katawan ko.. feeling ko lantang gulay ako pagtapos kong uminom. Katulad kanina, uminom ako ng kopiko kasi trip lang.. eh pagkatapos.. parang nagka-LBM ako. waah!!

One more thing, pag umiinom kasi ako ng kape, parang lahat ng gawin kong iutos ni boss ay EPIC FAIL. di ko alam.. siguro nga kasi nanlalata ako.. hmm. (pero naging successful naman lahat ng assign. ko ngayon kaya di to totoo. hahaha.

sabi pa ni ezel„ magiging kuba na ko kasi sinisipsip ni kape ang calcium sa katawan ko ayon sa nabasa niya.. (totoo kaya yun? hmm)

basta!!!

nakakabaliw yung kape. DI NA TALAGA KO MAGKAKAPE :)